Dusting off… clumsy transitions from what was to what is becoming

I launched this blog back in 2019, a time when I was working to find my way out of a difficult period in life. A phase in life which had me swallowed me whole. Simultaneously obsessed with work and not actually challenged by my job, exhausted mom of 3 girls who were brought into the world in the hazy span of three and a half years, sub-par wife, and a deeply passionate human being with no healthy outlet to pour myself into.

It was only a few months earlier I had the idea that I would spend the next year, 2019, infusing my life with MAS (more awesome stuff), which then prompted a whole flurry of activity including a life-changing year-long fellowship and gathering groups of girlfriends (new and old) to do all the things: dance classes, hikes, cooking classes, book clubs, fitness classes, surfing. I was on a quest to find something I could get lost in. The blog was one of those things, until it wasn’t.

As things go, the writing came easy for a bit, it shaped my thoughts and it lit me up. Then, I got in my head about it and kept pushing out my next post until, eventually I lost my voice. Has that ever happened to you? You’re on track with something that feels awesome, get scared, and step back, only to lose yourself in the process?

I know myself to be a positive, can-do person. Determined and driven to a fault, walking around on this planet with far too much fire burning in my belly 24/7 and yet it seems the things I burn most passionately for, scare the hell out of me to actually go after. What is that? Side-note: one book calls it an upper limit problem, where self-limiting beliefs keep you from accomplishing what you’re after. I’m adding that on the “to be addressed” side of the list. I see you upper limit problem, and I’ll deal with you later.

Anyhow, for the sake of this blog post, let’s keep moving along. It was suggested to me by a great writer friend of mine, that I should dust this blog off and give it another whirl. He had been watching the story of my “40 to 40” journey unfold on Instagram (@live.mas.love.mas) and both chatted and texted me suggesting that I get back to bloggin’. People like that in life are priceless. They are the ones who push you in the ways that are most uncomfortable urging you to get after it. I am crazy about people like that, and they can be super annoying because they don’t accept fear-based excuses, meanwhile getting all fired up to see you accomplish your goals. How do I know? Because I am one of those annoying people, and so I say all of these things affectionately and with confidence ;). (If you are reading this Tom, thank you for the push and you only annoy me when you are right, which is often.)

SO… I’m dusting this thing off, getting the first (again) post out of the way, and inviting you all to follow my journey tracking my overly ambitious obstacle course list of goals to keep me entertained (and swearing under my breath) as I near my 40th birthday. Today is day 22 of 40, but we’ll start at the beginning of the journey tomorrow. Until then, I hope you do something today that lights your fire!

Live MAS!