40 to 40, the obstacle-coursed path to a new decade

For years, my daily prayer has been the same: that I become the very best version of myself. That I shine brightly by the day. That I operate not at half-dim but at full-wattage.
Alicia Keys, More Myself

As a compulsive goal setter, it was both awesome and unfortunate that when setting my goals for ’21, I realized that Jan 1 was exactly 40 days before my 40th birthday. Any of you goal setters out there will instantly see the danger here. With this kind of serendipity, it is really hard to stop at just one goal. Must… keep… reaching!

Not all will understand the desire to reach. Here’s the deal, to the best of my knowledge, we get one shot at this life here on earth. ONE SHOT. We are each born with our own unique gifts and strengths and my fear for myself (and for us all, really) is that in an effort to find our way in this world, we tone down or become disconnected from what makes us each awesome. To site the wise Alicia Keys, that we spend our days walking around at half-dim. That thought hurts my soul.

Hear me, 40 is not old, though my kids tell me otherwise. But assuming we get 80-100 years in these bodies, I realize I’m nearing the middle of the journey and because we don’t know what tomorrow holds, maybe less. That’s okay, and, I am simply at the point in life where I see that, feel it deeply, and don’t want to spend one more minute on this planet disconnected from my purpose or not burning at full-wattage. To honor myself, to be an example to my kids, to love on the people around me as best as possible, there is a sense of responsibility to get after it. Anyone with me on this? This may be my favorite topic… my door is open for discussion.

So what started as a simple exercise to set some goals for 2021, turned in to something much larger, it turned into a 40 to 40 journey that has me taking stock in life, pounding the pavement, and celebrating the beauty that has brought me to this point.

The themes emerged naturally:

Detox
Service
Mindfulness
Fitness
Joy

Okay, that’s good. But what does this mean?

Detox: Release the things, thoughts, behaviors in my life that are blocking my energy and heart. Service: Discover opportunities to give my time and abilities while stoking my passions.
Joy: This one is my favorite, because it can be so many things. Basically, extract the maximum amount of joy from this life, the people, and the opportunities in front of me.
Mindfulness: Reclaim my mental energy and gain awareness. Meditate every day for 40 days. Fitness: Celebrate my health and push myself to do MAS (more awesome stuff). Specifically:

Run 40 miles in 40 days
Hit movement goals for 40 days
Track and hit macros for 40 days
Surf as much as humanly possible

In case you missed my last post I am now 23 days in. Tomorrow, we’ll dive into the fitness journey. I’m finding that the goals above are all interconnected and the themes that bring everything together are mindfulness and joy which is fanning my flame.

In the mean time, it’s a beautiful day out there, I hope you do something that lights your fire!

Live MAS!

Dusting off… clumsy transitions from what was to what is becoming

I launched this blog back in 2019, a time when I was working to find my way out of a difficult period in life. A phase in life which had me swallowed me whole. Simultaneously obsessed with work and not actually challenged by my job, exhausted mom of 3 girls who were brought into the world in the hazy span of three and a half years, sub-par wife, and a deeply passionate human being with no healthy outlet to pour myself into.

It was only a few months earlier I had the idea that I would spend the next year, 2019, infusing my life with MAS (more awesome stuff), which then prompted a whole flurry of activity including a life-changing year-long fellowship and gathering groups of girlfriends (new and old) to do all the things: dance classes, hikes, cooking classes, book clubs, fitness classes, surfing. I was on a quest to find something I could get lost in. The blog was one of those things, until it wasn’t.

As things go, the writing came easy for a bit, it shaped my thoughts and it lit me up. Then, I got in my head about it and kept pushing out my next post until, eventually I lost my voice. Has that ever happened to you? You’re on track with something that feels awesome, get scared, and step back, only to lose yourself in the process?

I know myself to be a positive, can-do person. Determined and driven to a fault, walking around on this planet with far too much fire burning in my belly 24/7 and yet it seems the things I burn most passionately for, scare the hell out of me to actually go after. What is that? Side-note: one book calls it an upper limit problem, where self-limiting beliefs keep you from accomplishing what you’re after. I’m adding that on the “to be addressed” side of the list. I see you upper limit problem, and I’ll deal with you later.

Anyhow, for the sake of this blog post, let’s keep moving along. It was suggested to me by a great writer friend of mine, that I should dust this blog off and give it another whirl. He had been watching the story of my “40 to 40” journey unfold on Instagram (@live.mas.love.mas) and both chatted and texted me suggesting that I get back to bloggin’. People like that in life are priceless. They are the ones who push you in the ways that are most uncomfortable urging you to get after it. I am crazy about people like that, and they can be super annoying because they don’t accept fear-based excuses, meanwhile getting all fired up to see you accomplish your goals. How do I know? Because I am one of those annoying people, and so I say all of these things affectionately and with confidence ;). (If you are reading this Tom, thank you for the push and you only annoy me when you are right, which is often.)

SO… I’m dusting this thing off, getting the first (again) post out of the way, and inviting you all to follow my journey tracking my overly ambitious obstacle course list of goals to keep me entertained (and swearing under my breath) as I near my 40th birthday. Today is day 22 of 40, but we’ll start at the beginning of the journey tomorrow. Until then, I hope you do something today that lights your fire!

Live MAS!

Lessons from a New York yogi

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

At the end of 2018 I was meeting with our CEO at work. As we talked about measuring the impact we had on lives through the work I lead, I closed my eyes, held up my hands in a meditative way and said “when it comes to impacting lives and engaging our clients, the journey is the destination”. Then, I opened one eye with my hands still in the air to see how much he hated what I said. To my surprise he smiled and didn’t disagree, which only fanned my flame.

Just take the first step…

More times than I can count over the last few weeks, I’ve had conversations with friends who are at a crossroads in their life and considering taking a new path. The level of anxiety and time spent trying to anticipate what will happen as they explore the unknown is considerable. Fear and aprehension is at an all-time high, but so, too, is the excitement about what lies ahead. And so there they stand, teetering the fine line of taking the first step and backing away from the path, retreating into the familiar.

As I observe this process in them, I can see so much of myself in their journey causing me to think back to all of those times I told myself I couldn’t, without even trying. Or that I’m not the kind of person who… because I held certain beliefs about myself.

The journey is the destination…

This week, I traveled to New York for work and took a MAS moment to visit a local yoga studio (and see my first Broadway show!). Standing in the studio, there was something powerful about finding peace in the middle of a chaotic city.

The class theme centered on how we, in this busy world, measure success by our level of productivity or the outcome, paying little attention to the journey and the feelings along the way. This message resonated with me, as, by nature I am a driven, goal oriented gal who has probably missed many of life’s lessons and special moments as I barreled down the road toward my destination.

My energetic yoga instructor wove this theme throughout the practice urging the class to pay close attention to their feelings emotionally and physically as the practice unfolded. Not pushing their bodies to perform how each person thought they should, rather, to do what felt good and right in the moment. Soon, I was fully immersed in this concept, I found myself pretzeled into a shape I didn’t even know my body was capable of forming. At that very moment, at the crescendo of his message and the practice, he said “I want you to pause, breathe, and reflect, because this shit is deep”.

At that point is struck me – I could have never have found my way to that crazy position if I did not let go and trust the process, if I did not fully immerse myself in each step of the practice along the way. By trusting, letting go and getting out of my own head, I was able to achieve something I never could have imagined for myself. New Yorker yogi was right, that shit was DEEP!

And so, as life these days has a way of doing, my experience in the MAS activity loops back to the conversations I am having with the people I love, and with myself. So often, it seems, the most important thing is to take the first (or next) step and fully immerse yourself in the process. You just never know where you will end up… and, I’m pretty sure that’s the beauty of it all!

Let your freak flag fly

“Second albums, man, they’re even scarier than the first” – Kanye West

Kanye’s not often right, but in this case? He’s spot on. As I start to write I wonder if the pressures of the sophomore album also apply to the second blog post?

Well, the truth is, my words may not resonate, or even be read. But at the end of the day, that’s not exactly what all of this is about and, to be perfectly and painfully honest, there is a part of me that needs to detach from that desire for broader acceptance anyway. So… on I write.

Owning it…

About a year ago, an old acquaintance of mine posted an image and in the caption he wrote “let your freak flag fly”. As soon as I read it, I was struck deep down. Those simple words celebrated a transformation I had been undergoing for a number of years and breezily celebrated the quirky uniqueness in us all.

You see, in my early days working in leadership positions I really struggled to unveil my own style. I tried unsuccessfully force myself to fit molds that had been cast before me. Emulating something that seemed “right” which caused me to become formal and awkward. As a result, I was miserable.

Finally, fed up with work and frustrating circumstances, I decided just be me. At this point there was nothing to lose. I had to throw my preconceived notions of leadership out the window, leverage my strengths, and be cognizant of my weaknesses and pitfalls.

The result was a pure and genuine joy found in rebuilding business and myself as a leader. I was able to better see the opportunities that lay ahead and better utilize the strengths of the people around me. It was deeply rewarding and transformational leaving me feeling free and creative.

So, what does this have to do with MAS?

Everything! This journey is about just that, exploring those hidden and quirky parts of ourselves, loving them, and sharing them with the community that surrounds us. It is about intentionally being surrounded with people who are striving to be better, traveling their own journey and sharing what they learn while taking chances and asking questions. For me, it is about becoming a more complete version of myself enabling me to have more authentic impact on the surrounding world. Oh yeah, and it’s about having a boat load of fun along the way!

Thank you

I am grateful for the public and private responses that I received from the first post and am encouraged that the concept of MAS resonates with so many. I have so much to learn from each of you as you navigate your own paths and truly hope that you will share your lessons with me.

In the mean time, friends, let your freak flags fly and make the world a more colorful (and awesome) place! Thank you for the inspiration.